So ....

I hate writing these things when Im depressed but sometimes I just need to... see it and say it without hurting people.

What have I done so wrong for you to hide me away?

Am I such a bad person? Am I so ugly? Do I not speak in the correct manner?

I know I'm different. My checkered past is nothing to be proud of and yes I'm trying my damned hardest to change that but what else can I do?

I've changed who I am for the better, for you.

What hurts me the most is that your little girl is going to get shunned away with me. She hasnt even seen the light of day yet and the one person protecting her is the person who has done this to her, it's all my fault.

Maybe if I had been... different things would be different?

I just want to feel apart of you, the same way you will always be apart of me.

I'd like to meet those people who mean the most to you. Those ones who can tell me stories like the ones dad tells to you. I want them to see our daughter, our scarlett, my mirical and the only other thing that can make everything disappear.

I love you, I've only ever wanted to be a part of you.

I just dont know how much longer I can hide in the shadows.
I'm sorry.

All my love and best wishes.

Sarah x